The Heart of the Matter
by Nudgy Turian
Summary: Has Zoe pushed her husband too far? He seems to think she crossed the line. And what is the dark secret Wash has been hiding, even from his wife?
1. Falling Apart

**Chapter 1: Falling Apart**

Wash was beside himself and fast losing all hope. He drummed his fingers on the console while his eyes scanned the expanse of space before him. No way that his luck could be this bad – there had to be a way out! Maybe he had miscounted...

He turned again to the computer screen and called up his personal calendar. One, two, three... twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one... thirty-five, thirty-six.

"Oh, son of a gorrum..."he yelled, jamming his fist against the console to instantly close the screen. In the next moment he had swept all his dinosaurs onto the floor.

He hadn't been mistaken.

She had won. He was certain of it.

He dropped his head into his hands and tried to calm himself. Problem was that it wasn't doing any good. For the first time he could recall, he was angry, really seriously angry... with his wife. Worse yet, he was afraid. As tired as he had become of the constant dread and fear he had felt in the last two weeks, finally having his worst fear realized was infinitely harder to deal with.

He just couldn't even imagine how Zoe could possibly make up for what she had done. It just couldn't be undone.

She had used him. Used him very badly, indeed...

"Well, not that badly..." a small voice in his head spoke up.

"In fact, you weren't complaining," another chimed in.

"Shut up!" he yelled aloud. "It wasn't right! She shouldn't have!"

"Uh... who you yelling at?" Kaylee asked, looking a bit spooked. She had come on up, as was her habit before turning in for the night. She always looked in on Serenity's pilot before going off shift. The two of them were what kept the boat both fair and flying.

She had stepped onto the bridge just in time to see his display of temper, something which was never associated with the even tempered fly boy, except when...

"Oh!" she said, comprehending what it had to be. "Zoe got you all upset again, Wash?"

Wash stared at her with bloodshot eyes and it looked as though he had actually been on the verge of tears.

"Are you OK?" she asked, suddenly very concerned. This wasn't like him at all! True, he hadn't been himself for the last few weeks... but for him to be this upset... well, it really frightened her.

"No," he answered, tersely. "and I doubt I ever will be again!" Jumping up, he left the bridge.

Kaylee did a quick check, noted that the ship was on auto-pilot and relaxed a little. She followed him out, but stayed just far enough behind him to see where he was headed without drawing attention to herself. Turned out that he was headed into the quarters he shared with Zoe.

"Fei hua !" she said aloud, feeling that something truly bad was brewing between the pilot and his wife. She wished she could do something to help, but Wash had made it pretty clear that he didn't want anyone's sympathy at the moment. Shaking her head sadly, she retreating to her own berth.

* * *

In their shared quarters, Simon awoke to find his sister talking in her sleep.

"Angry. So angry," she mumbled, moving restlessly beneath her blanket. "Scared! Not right! Underhanded! Took advantage..."

"Who's angry?" Simon questioned her. He knew her abilities better than anyone and he knew she had to be reacting to one of the crew.

"Love her. Need her, but for her to do this..."

"Who, River? Who did it?"

Her answer was loud, a yell which was echoed by another, "Zoe!"

"Zoe!" Wash's simultaneous scream of the same name died away in the background as goosebumps rose on Simon's skin.

"Spooky..." he whispered, before climbing back in his bed and pulling the covers up to his chin. It was a long while before his heartbeat slowed back to a normal level.

Still, he found he couldn't sleep.

* * *

Captain Malcolm Reynolds dismounted and turned his horse loose. On either side of him, his second in command, Zoe, and his hired muscle, Jayne, did likewise.

They slapped the horses on their rumps and watched them trot off back towards town before turning and boarding the boat.

It sure felt good to be back on Serenity.

He turned a pleased smile on Zoe, who didn't smile back. She hadn't been herself in recent weeks and there was a definite strain in her relationship with that strange husband of hers. Still, for her to be so guarded even when returning from a successful financial venture... Well, it boded no good.

"If you won't be needing me, sir, I have some things to see to," she said.

"Have at it." As she started to move off after Jayne, he snagged her arm. "You know if there's anything I can do..." he began.

"No sir, don't see as how there is anything you can do to help me," she answered. "Let's just say that I made a mistake and now I have to live with it."

"Told you that you shouldn't marry him," he replied before he could help himself.

Zoe's face hardened. It was the look she wore just before she shot someone dead. "Wash will NEVER be a mistake, Captain," she ground out. "Right now I dare say that he doesn't feel the same way about me. If you want some advice, you'll have him fly this boat to the nearest port where you're likely to find a decent replacement pilot."

Mal's mouth dropped open in shock. "My God, what did you do to the man?"

"The one thing he begged me not to do, sir," she sighed. "I'm serious. We should dock somewhere and plan on staying for a while. In the end we may or may not still have Wash as our pilot. Don't know as yet about the husband part of that..."

She turned and stormed off.

Mal suddenly realized that the pilot had not met them in the cargo area, something he always did when his wife was returning. Zoe's advice hit home hard. If Wash hadn't greeted her, then chances were that he wasn't waiting for her in their quarters either. Best that he get them into the nearest port now then.

He took the stairs three at a time and moved briskly up the corridor into the bridge.


	2. Issues

**Chapter 2: Issues**

Zoe found exactly what she had feared finding when she entered their berth: Wash had taken all his things and moved out. She sat on the edge of the double bunk, gripped her stomach and doubled over. The physical pain was bad, but that was something she could take. Losing Wash, well that was another story.

Trouble was that he had good reason to leave. She had pushed things too far, overstepped the boundaries even of a relationship as close as theirs...

And she really didn't know what she could say to him to make it all right. Telling him the truth of how things were wasn't good enough. The damage that had been done had to be fixed first.

She looked up when she heard raised voices drifting down from the bridge. Sounded like Mal had overstepped himself as well...

Maybe she should just give Wash some space for now, wait him out a while and then feel the waters...

* * *

Mal stopped short just after entering the bridge. Wash had apparently set up shop in the corner because it now sported a hammock, two trunks and a pile of clothes.

"What in the hell is going on here? Wash! You can't sleep up on the bridge!"

The pilot tilted his head and shot him a sour look over his shoulder. "Why not? I already spend most of my time here."

"Look, I don't know what is going on between you and Zoe, but..."

"That's right, you don't!" Wash yelled, coming to his feet. He actually succeeded in making the captain back up a step or two. "And until you do, I'll thank you to keep your advice to yourself!"

"Well then, tell me. I'm listening." Mal took a threatening step forward, placing his nose just inches away from his pilot's nose. As expected, Wash backed down and moved back a few paces.

"Can't. Not yet, anyway." Wash's voice dropped back down to its usual even tone. "Me and Zoe need some time to think, Mal. We can't do that if we're in the same quarters and seeing as how my old berth now belongs to someone else, there isn't really anywhere else for me to sleep. This is probably the best place for now. And just think, I'll be able to respond to an emergency that much faster."

Mal moved up to stand beside Wash and clapped a hand on his back. "Zoe seems to think that we should pull into the nearest port. She said I should probably see to it."

"Did she?" there was defeat in the blond pilot's voice. "Maybe we best then."

Both men remained silent for a while, staring out the front window at the stars.

Mal finally spoke up, his words carefully chosen. "I think it would be best that we did, but not for the reasons Zoe did. You're the best damn pilot I ever met, Wash and a right decent man. I know you always do try to do the right thing by Zoe. I believe you will this time, same as every other..." He met his pilot's eyes, which had turned an eerie neon blue in the glow of a passing ship's floodlights. "We're putting in for some R and R. Take the time you need, just so's it ain't longer than two weeks."

Wash did the unexpected then. He hugged Mal. Hard. Then he broke away and nearly jumped into the pilot's chair. "I'm right on that, captain!" he said, a ghost of his former good humor restored.

Mal shrugged and left the bridge. "The things I do for my crew..." he muttered.

* * *

"So what's up with you and that oddball husband of yours?"

Zoe finished fishing her laundry out of the cleaning machine and gave Jayne a withering look. "How would you like to swallow this entire bedsheet?" she snarled.

The big guy held his hands up to show he was unarmed, a universal sign of truce. "Just asking is all. Everyone is gossiping about it. At least I had the decency to ask you up front."

As the second in command finished fishing her things out of the machine, Jayne began shoving his in. When it became apparent that she wasn't going to say anything more, he shrugged. "Suit yerself," he sighed. "but you ought to know that so far the general thinking is that Wash caught you bedding the captain."

Zoe stood bolt upright and stared at him. "That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!" she sputtered.

"Naw. What they're really saying is," Jayne grinned. "I just wanted to get a reaction outta ya."

"So what are they saying?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened and I'll tell you if they're right?" Jayne countered.

"Ni ta ma de!" she replied, and then turned on her heel and stormed out with her wet laundry. When she got back to her berth, she hung the sheets over a make shift clothesline and then collapsed on the bed.

She had spent the last few days trying to get Wash's attention without actually approaching him. She had learned early on that when he was angry it was best to let him sort through it and approach her when he was ready to talk.

Unfortunately, her pilot husband had pretty much kept to himself, rarely even leaving the bridge. He hadn't even come down to join the others for dinner and she had instead fixed him a plate and brought it up to him. All it had gotten her was a terse, "thanks" before he turned back to his controls and refused to look at her again.

She was out of time. They were due at the station in just a few hours and after that she could not be certain that Wash would remain aboard or ever return if he disembarked. She had therefore asked Inara if she could set up some sort of impromptu luncheon before R and R officially began. The companion had been more than happy to help her and the crew after being informed of the luncheon, showed great interest in it, especially since its primary draw was real food and some really good cider.

All she could do now was hope that Wash would put in an appearance. Chances were good that he would. He wouldn't want to disappoint his crewmates.

* * *

He showed.

He stayed on the opposite side of the room and laughed and joked with the others, just as he always had, but she was completely ignored. It went on for what seemed to be an eternity, while she kept a fake smile on her face and pretended to be as unconcerned and happy as everyone else. The only hope she had that her husband did indeed still care about her, came a little later on, when she caught him watching her with a puppy-dog look upon his face. He had thought she wouldn't see, as she had just collected the dishes and was on the way to the sink with them, but she had caught it over her shoulder. He wore a look of such hopeless longing and adoration on his face that for the first time in weeks, her heart felt that it was no longer being constricted.

Wash still loved her. He still adored her.

It filled her with hope that she could patch things up with him. Maybe their marriage would even be better when all was resolved.

As she began scrubbing the dishes in the sink, he came up behind her, slipping his arms through her own and making it look as though she had four arms which were all cleaning dishes. It had always been one of his favorite things when they pulled kitchen duty. He rested his chin on her shoulder so that he could see what he was doing and more than once he brushed his cheek against hers.

After a short while the voices behind them faded off down the corridor and they found themselves alone. The dishes were clean. They dried them and cleaned the table, then the floor, all the while working in an easy unison without feeling the need to say a word.

It was only as they finished and he picked up his travel bag from the couch, where she had failed to notice it that her uncertainty returned. She found herself lightheaded and woozy for the third time that day and fought it off.

"You're going then?" she finally spoke up.

He sighed. "I have to, wife. I need the time."

"Promise me that you'll come back?"

"Can't." His bluer-than-the-sky eyes held her own. "But I will return to at least say good-bye if it comes to that."

"Come back to our room. Let's talk about it."

"Already tried that. Tried it for four months." He turned and headed for the door. "I don't think I can stand to have you dismiss the conversation again."

With that he stepped out of the room and headed down the hall and first flight of steps at a brisk pace.

"Come on, honey, you're making this out to be far worse than it really is," Zoe called out as she followed. "Move back in with me and let me make it up to you," she pleaded. "We can work this out."

Wash stopped suddenly and rounded on her. "This is a big deal, Zoe," he said, raising his voice. "We are talking about the loss of trust and respect in our relationship. The way I see it, there is no relationship without it!"

"I just don't see how bringing a new life into this world; a whole new person who will be made up of both of us, is such a terrible thing," She whispered, joining him on the landing. She saw his expression soften and pressed on, "Can you just imagine: a child of ours could crack off a joke and then take the bad guy out in the next heartbeat..."

Again his expression changed, this time becoming pained. "You're right, and I'd give much to have a child who could do that, but that doesn't change the fact that I wasn't ready yet. You knew I didn't want this and still you pressed the issue. You manipulated me..."

"Honey, I..."

"Stop! Just stop!" he yelled. "There will be no more honey thrown into this. Do you deny that you manipulated me?"

"Well, no," she yelled back. "You have free will. Just because I stopped taking my birth control doesn't mean I manipulated you. I told you I stopped taking it."

Wash's cheeks began to turn red, a sure sign that he was reaching his limit as far as patience was concerned. "We've been through this over and over, Zoe. Neither of us is changing our opinion on it. Yes, you have the right not to take medication if you don't want to, but I have every right not to be a father if I'm not ready for it and in stopping your meds, you were intentionally attempting to force my hand."

Zoe crossed her arms in front of her chest and planted her feet firmly at shoulder width apart. She glared at him but remained silent.

"And what happened when you stopped taking your meds, Lamby-toes, hmmm? Did I just ignore the risk and jump your bones?"

"No," she ground out.

"No," he reiterated. "Our sex life took a dive, didn't it? All because ol' Wash was no longer willing to risk anything that might result in a pregnancy. Yeah, we did just about everything else under the sun, but a lack of penetration really caused some serious frustration on both our parts, didn't it? Yet, did I ever once knuckle under and ignore any of the consequences?"

"No," she whispered.

"That's right!" he bellowed. "For over three months I towed the line. I refused to give in to you even when you cajoled and used all your wiles on me and yet, you refused to go back on the meds, despite what it was doing to us..."

"OK, let's just drop this for now," she asked. "You're stepping over the line..."

"No! You are the one who crossed the line. You're the one who keeps stopping me from saying what has to be said. What's the matter, tough girl? You afraid to hear it?"

She gave him her best scowl and turned away, intent on ending the conversation, but Wash grabbed her arm to stop her. Without thinking she spun and landed a solid punch to his jaw.

He landed hard on the metal landing and had to shake his head to clear it. His bag nearly flew over the walkway, but managed to remain more on than off.

In a second she was beside him, running her hands over his face, panicked over the pain she had caused him. "Wode tìan! Oh honey! I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to do that!"

"Yes you did," he whispered, then spat blood. He was vaguely aware that the rest of the crew had gathered in the doorways below and were witnessing their fight. He didn't care. As far as he was concerned they needed to hear the ugly truth so that they'd understand what he had to do. He struggled to his feet and spat again. "You're going to hear it and nothing short of killing me will keep me from saying it out loud..."

"Wash... please..." her eyes pleaded with him to drop it.

"Three and a half hellish months after you tried to force my hand, I went into town with Mal, Jayne and the others," he started.

"Wash...." another plea.

"It was when we all found out that Jayne was none other than the official town hero, remember?"

Zoe nodded.

"And it was the first decent drinking I had done in three and a half months." He shrugged his shoulders. "Stupid of me to think that just because I was away from you that it was safe..." As though all the strength had gone out of his legs, he again sunk down onto the landing next to her. "Mal and I returned to the ship and you wasted no time in hauling my drunk ass up to our quarters..."

"Please don't say it..." Zoe paled noticeably.

"When you tried to climb aboard, as it were, what did I tell you?" When she clearly wasn't going to answer, he continued. "I told you no, didn't I? Didn't I, Zoe?"

"Yes," she whispered. "but you weren't fighting very hard..."

"Very hard? Zoe! I was fighting as best as a drunk-off-his-ass man can fight while being pinned down by a woman with military experience! Point is that I said no several times, yet you took advantage of me!"

She stared into his eyes as tears began to track down her face. "I wanted a child so much, Wash. I thought that maybe you would change your mind once it was a reality...."

"There is a word for what you did, Zoe!" he cried, his voice finally breaking. Then he whispered it just for her ears. "It's called rape. Now I'm inclined not to use that word where the others can hear, cause truth be told, I was just drunk enough that I hoped you'd ignore me... but still, no means no..." Then the anger returned. He sat back and raised his voice again. "To get your way, you took advantage of a drunk, relatively non-violent man who happens to be your husband. You destroyed my trust in you, my respect for you... because you didn't respect me or my feelings in anything pertaining to this child!"

She reached out to him, attempting to embrace him, but he moved further away and stood as quickly as his shaking legs would allow.

Blood still dripped from the corner of his mouth, and he wiped it with the back of his hand and picked up his bag as he tried to get control of his voice. "Don't know if this can be set right, Zoe," he whispered. "Of course I'll always love and want our child, seeing as it's not its fault that it exists... but I don't know if I can forgive you so easily. Don't know if I can ever trust you again... or even if I want to try... Maybe time will tell. Maybe not."

He walked away and slowly climbed the stairs on his way back to his make shift berth on the bridge.

Zoe stayed right where she had fallen after knocking her husband down. She didn't move and she didn't even give any indication that she saw the crew moving towards her. It was only when Mal pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her that the tears finally came. She sobbed quietly, without making much noise, just as she had on those rare occasions during the war. She would weep silently while Mal comforted her, because you couldn't make noise when the enemy was around...

Thing was that she would give anything for it to be Wash comforting her now, but he might not ever do that for her again... and she had only herself to blame.

* * *

She found him in the corner, behind his hammock. His arms were around his legs, his head resting upon his knees. He wept as though his heart was breaking and Kaylee figured it wasn't the first time in the past few weeks that he had done so.

She moved beside him and when she put her arms around him he instantly moved into her embrace and wept upon her shoulder. She rubbed his back and whispered what comforting words she could and when he finally calmed, she wiped his face with her sleeve and smiled at him.

"Hey..." she whispered.

"Hey," he whispered back.

"It'll be OK, Wash. You have to believe that. Zoe's a good woman, just too logical and not feeling enough sometimes, is all." She gave him a hug. "But she's crazy about you... Told me once that she's never been crazy about any man but you."

"She did?" he sniffed.

"Sure did. And I imagine that when you love a man that much, you want to see more of him in this world. I think maybe that's why she wanted this child so badly. Maybe she was blinded by her need to actually live for once...to bring forth life rather than deal death..."

"Kaylee..."

"Hush now," she admonished. "I'm not done talking yet. In case you doubt what I said about her feelings for you, you should know that she's crying. Ain't none of us ever seen that happen before. Maybe the captain has, don't know about that. But I don't think she meant to hurt you, Wash. She just wasn't thinking clear, ya know?"

"Name's Hob."

"What?" She looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"My given name is Hoban, but don't you go telling, dong ma?"

"Cross my heart!" She did so with a forefinger. "Hob?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you want a child?"

He sighed heavily and let her go. "I once swore that I would never put another child in danger, Kaylee... and I can't... I won't... What I was trying to tell Zoe is that I do want a child with her, just not now. Not on this boat when we take so many risks."

"Why did you swear? What happened to you?"

Wash's face nearly crumbled again. "It's a long story, my girl... and I'm tired..."

"You have to talk to someone about it," she insisted. "Actually, you should probably tell Zoe, don't you think?"

"Can't"

"Why not?"

"She'd hate me if she heard the full story."

"Zoe could never hate you. She really loves you!"

"Well, you'll have to trust me on this one and I daresay that you'll agree once you know the truth of it."

"Well tell me and let's find out!"

Wash sighed. "I come from a long line of military pilots," he began. "Every one of them served with honor and it was expected that when the time came I would do the same. So when I turned twenty-one, after completing my basic studies, I applied for the top flight school in the quadrant. I was accepted and left my family and the life I knew behind in order to learn to be a pilot... for the Alliance."

Kaylee gasped loudly then covered her mouth with her hand. "You flew for the Alliance?" She was deeply shocked. She just couldn't see the lovable pilot she knew so well working for such a ruthless organization.

Wash sighed again. "It was all I knew at the time, Kaylee. It was all I was taught to know and expect my entire life, but if it makes you feel any better, I learned otherwise..."

* * *

Mal held Zoe away from him, his hands on her shoulders. She had had her short-lived cry, as was her way. Zoe never dragged anything out longer than she had too, not even her cries. He was about to ask her if she was OK when it became apparent to him that she was anything but.

Her tone had become pallid, taking on an ugly gray hue all those who has served on the frontlines in the war knew so well. It was the color a person turned just before they left the world.

"Zoe!"

"Sir, please don't let him leave..." she whispered, just before she collapsed.

Sweeping her up in his arms, he made for the infirmary, bellowing for the jing tzahng mei yong duh doctor the entire way.

Simon reached the infirmary entrance at the same time he did.

"What can it be, doc?" Mal asked, beginning to actually feel a panic set in.

"Probably a ruptured ectopic pregnancy," the doctor ground out.

"I'll go get Wash!" Mal took a step towards the door. Their pilot was the one person on the boat whose blood was a match for all of them.

"Captain, we have to get her to the nearest hospital! She's bleeding out into her abdomen and she'll require far more blood than Wash alone can provide."

Malcolm Reynolds called for a medical shuttle. Then he held his second in command's hand and silently willed her to find a reason to stay with them.


	3. Running

**Chapter 3: Running **

Serenity's pilot slipped out the main cargo bay door and disappeared without any fuss or fanfare. Truth be told, he was surprised by how easily it had gone, having felt certain that at least one crewmember would spoil his stealthy exit.

He reminded himself that there was no need to draw attention to himself now and forced himself to walk calmly over the docking ramp and into the cavernous main building of the skyport. If you ran, then you drew the attention of any meat-eaters in the vicinity.

Still, he didn't relax until he was out of Serenity's sight, then he began to walk at a faster pace, took the main staircase up two flights and disappeared into one of the skyport bars. He put his bag down next to a barstool, settled down and ordered a shot of their best liquor. It was expensive, but he felt he deserved a little treat, considering how bad the last few weeks had been.

'Ah, who am I kidding?' He thought to himself. Truth was that he needed the drink to help him keep his resolve to spend the next few weeks away from Zoe.

The bartender poured up his shot and moved on.

"Well, here's to freedom," he said in a low tone and then upended the glass. The fiery liquor burned going down, but it burned in such a good way...

Slamming the glass back down, he stood, picked up his bag and straightened.

"Yaaah!" he involuntarily yelled, seeing as how Kaylee was sitting right next to him on the next barstool. "Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh!!! What the hell are you doing here?" he finally managed to ask.

"Knew you'd stop in," she answered with a grin. "Wasn't anything for me to beat you off Serenity and wait for you in this here building. Soon as I saw you heading this way I knew I was right."

"But how did you beat me off the boat?" he asked, a very confused look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair. "And when did you get on that barstool?"

"Now, now..." she admonished. "A girl's got to have some secrets."

He leaned in closer and squinted fiercely at her. "Then answer me this one question... Why the hell are you here?"

She became serious. "I ain't letting you disappear until I know where I can find you. Hell, Wash, you know we don't have the world's best luck. Best that I stick with you until you get settled somewhere."

"I don't have a clue where I'm going yet," he protested.

"Well then, maybe we better start exploring until you figure it out," she chirped.

"Don't you have something better to do, like annoy Simon?"

"Yeah, I could do that, but right now this is the best thing I could be doing," she replied, then grabbed his shirt and pulled him out of the bar after her. "Time's a wastin'..."

* * *

"Where's that ambulance?" Mal yelled in frustration. He had been pacing the docking ramp outside his ship for what seemed like hours, although an inner voice told him it was more like a few minutes. Even more frustrating was the fact that aside from himself, the doc and Zoe, everyone else seemed to have already disembarked. He hadn't even been able to carry out what might have been Zoe's last wish: that he keep her husband from leaving.

Just then the sound of retrothrusters firing drew his attention and gave him back some hope. An ambulance was landing right in front of him on the only part of the landing pad not taken up by Serenity.

Maybe his second had some chance at living after all.

As soon as the engines cut off, he ran up to the shuttle. Before the attendants were even out he was barking at them to get a move on.

The men were good. They knew their trade, that he'd give them. Within less than five minutes, they had Zoe strapped onto a gurney and in place.

"Hurry up, Doc!" he yelled above the sound of the ambulance engines as they started.

Simon rushed through the cargo bay with his medical bag and closed up the bay doors before joining Mal aboard the ambulance. Seeing the look Mal shot at his black bag, he leaned in close and whispered, "It might come in handy should I get the opportunity to grab some more supplies."

Mal's eyebrows rose up as he gave him an approving nod.

After that there was nothing to do but count the minutes until they arrived at the hospital.

* * *

Wash sat on the bed in his hotel room and idly turned the visitor's information disk over as he pondered what he wanted to do first.

He had finally settled for a moderately priced hotel near the heart of the city. It had everything he really needed: A pool, all the much missed conveniences of civilization, such as running hot water, a shower, a tub, vid entertainment and a great view of the landing areas, as well as the main downtown strip.

Once he had a room, Kaylee had finally left him, but not before trying to get him to take her out dancing somewhere.

He chuckled at the notion. That gal was a real sweetheart, endearingly naive, and a great friend, but somewhat silly to boot. Just imagine him and her shaking it together on a dance floor! Not that he couldn't dance, but really, if Zoe had learned about that... well, he'd be a dead man dancing.

Then he frowned. Besides, it would be dangerous for him to be seen so publicly. It was a risk, him being on this planet to begin with. No sense in pressing his luck.

No, he would have to scurry about the sights the locals frequented; not those that the fly boys liked to patronize when they were on leave.

Speaking of which... where should he go first?

He pondered a while longer and finally decided that a few hours in a virtual game room, followed by some good take out food that he could eat in his room was the way to go.

After what was meant to be a quick shower, but ended up lasting a good half hour due to how great it felt, he combed his hair, put on his most comfortable old jumpsuit and favorite Hawaiian shirt and surveyed himself in the mirror. Hmmm. Too bad his beard was such a light color. He hadn't shaved in several days, but despite a good growth it still wasn't enough to alter his appearance. Times like these, he wished his hair were darker. He'd be less conspicuous in a crowd as well...

He briefly thought about dying it, then dismissed the idea. Zoe loved his hair. Hell, she even loved his pale skin and freckles. She found his coloration most attractive and had said so on many an intimate occasion.

The sentiments were mutual.

He found her exotic, sensual and beautiful beyond belief. Nothing pleased him more than to watch his pale hide moving over her smooth, coffee colored skin. She felt like silk... Silk covering lean, toned muscle.

Nope. No way was he gonna change his appearance. Damn! A glance in the mirror showed that his face was now flushed, each cheek sporting a crimson patch.

He forced himself to change his train of thought.

Not for the first time he wondered what their child would look like. Zoe had told him once that they would make a beautiful baby and of that he had no doubt, but just what would the little fella or gal look like?

Well, if it's a girl, I hope she takes after me, he thought with much amusement. And he would definitely want a son to take after Zoe. What an interesting family they would make!

Then he remembered his situation and the happiness drained away again. What kind of life could he offer them? Could he even convince his wife to leave her fighting ways and dangerous dealings behind and settle somewhere safe? Not likely, he was thinking. Yet he couldn't live with the thought of his child growing up in such surroundings as they were in aboard Serenity. It was just a matter of time before he got caught or Serenity got caught up in a battle she couldn't win, or he took one risk to many trying to outrun a faster boat...

With a sigh, he turned and left the room.

* * *

"Damn it, Kaylee!" Mal yelled over the com. "Haven't I told you to always take a communicator with you when you're away from the boat? What if I needed you back here right away?"

"Hey, Cap, Serenity's just fine," she chirped. "No need to be so cranky!"

"Yes there is," Mal's voice dropped to a normal speaking tone, but Kaylee picked up on the anxiety that made it waver slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Zoe," he sighed. "Baby was growing in one of her tubes, instead of her womb, I guess. Her tube ruptured and took out a major artery. She nearly bled to death."

Kaylee felt her face crumble. "She gonna be OK?" she asked as tears began to flow down her face.

"Yeah, but it was a close one." Mal made an effort to calm himself. "Look Mei mei, we need to find Wash pronto."

"I know where he is, Cap. Made him tell me," she sniffled. "I'll call him, tell him that there's been a problem and we need him for a short while..." She wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. "Is the baby..."

"No, mei mei. The baby died when Zoe's tube busted," he said gently.

Kaylee began to sob.

"Kaylee, I need for you to be strong now," Mal urged. "Don't let on to Wash that Zoe's hurt bad, just get him to the hospital, dong ma?"

She nodded. "I'll find some way, Cap."

"Good girl"

Mal cut the line and sank down into one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. He was hoping, hoping real hard that Wash would get there soon, before Zoe woke up. As much as he loved her, he didn't think he could bear to be the one to break the bad news to her. Figured that was her husband's responsibility.

* * *

Deirdre Dirk's Virtual Game Arcade was located in a shadier area of the city, but it was still light years ahead of any of the virtual places he had seen on the back world planets.

After touring around the multi-leveled game complex for the better part of an hour, Serenity's pilot plucked down some credit to play a flight simulator game. He had watched a few other people give it a go and been taken with it's complexity and realism. Hell, there was nothing better than pushing the limits of human flight ability in a non-lethal simulation. Looked and felt like the real thing, but no going "splat" if you goofed.

He seated himself in the cockpit and chose the most maneuverable fighter in the game list over the most powerful one. Power was a good thing to have, but it was even better to sacrifice some of that speed for grace and precision... He figured that was why so many of those who played this simulator lost – they were in love with the feel of powerful engines, but lacked the real flight experience to know that the real thrill came in turning so fast that your crew found themselves stuck to the walls.

The game was a great deal of fun and it would have been ten times more fun if there was an option not to be the pilot of an Alliance boat. Worse yet, the game involved hunting down Independent boats while other Browncoats tried to blow you out of the sky by hook or by crook. Still, he soon lost himself in the joy of flying, taking the risks that made most pilots back down and vomit.

The simulation was top of the line. It was good, real good! He felt the G-forces, could feel the rumble of the engines in his chest. He lost himself in the joy of flight and was transported back many years to when it wasn't a game, but a reality.

Again he saw buildings disintegrating, giving up huge plumes of fire and debris. He heard his wingmen cheering him on over the com, whooping in triumph.

And then again, he found himself disobeying orders, flying low over the charred landscape and seeing bodies everywhere... Dead children littered the charcoaled dirt like burned ragdolls, women screamed and cried as they looked for their babies...

Wash slapped the pause button and gasped as the agony of those memories made his stomach twist. If he had eaten, his food would already be on the floor. His hands were white knuckled and he couldn't seem to release the death grip he had on the stick. He was shaking, his teeth chattering. Perspiration beaded his face and dripped down his neck.

He became distantly aware of people shouting and cheering and looked up to find nearly every patron in the arcade circling his booth and screaming in excitement. They were carrying on about his score, about the fact that he hadn't even used up one of his virtual lives yet and had already broken all the known records for this particular simulation. Some were screaming that he must be crazy to just stop like that. Others were chanting for him to continue...

He wiped his face with his sleeve and staggering to his feet, left the booth. "Sorry," he mumbled to the onlookers. "Got a might sky sick. Can't continue..."

Wash pushed his way through the disappointed crowd and made the fastest possible getaway that wouldn't raise people's suspicions. He hadn't realized what he was doing. If word of this got around, and he felt certain it would, it was best that he be far away and laying low...

* * *

Kaylee had tried to get up with Wash over the hotel com, but unfortunately it seemed that Serenity's pilot was already out somewhere on the town.

Anxious to find him and not one to simply wait around, she had finally decided to go looking for him. She figured that she'd swing by the hotel first on the off chance that he had returned, but when she arrived it had become apparent that something was going seriously wrong...

Pushing her way through the huge double doors of the lobby, she had approached the main desk only to find two men standing there interrogating the desk clerk. She had quickly altered course and acted as though she was reading posted information about the local entertainment.

They looked like military despite their civilian clothes. Their hair was short and neat and way too perfectly trimmed around the ears. Both of them were trying to convince the desk clerk that they had lost touch with a buddy and needed to know if he had checked into the hotel. The man they were describing was definitely a ringer for Wash.

Fortunately the desk clerk knew her business and was above both harassing threats and monetary bribes. Or perhaps she really didn't know about Wash when she said that she had been away from work for several days and had only just started her shift.

Either way, Kaylee was grateful that the two men walked away without any new knowledge. The big question was why they were looking for Wash. Had he done something wrong? Had he accidentally drawn attention to himself?

Or was it that he had downplayed the military's interest in him when he had told her about his past?

Kaylee felt extremely unsettled. Her gut was telling her that Alliance military would not react so quickly to the sighting of a missing pilot unless he was someone of either great interest or significant importance.

She waited a few minutes after the men left before heading out herself. She figured that Wash would be looking for something to take his mind off his troubles. And for Wash, the only thing that would probably do the trick was to fly. Which meant his only option at this time was a simulator.

Stopping at the nearest street level directory, she punched up a list of local arcades. There were at least nine that she felt the pilot might have chosen.

Kaylee printed a list and a map and headed out in search of him.

To be continued...


	4. History is Open to Interpretation or All

**Chapter 4: History is Open to Interpretation or All the Facts do not a Life Story Make**

"She's awake and asking for Wash."

Mal looked up from the seat he had been warming for the last thirty minutes, then sighed. "Alright. No use in putting this off then," he said, more for his own benefit than for Simon's. "Anything else I need to know before I see her?"

Simon shook his head. "No. We haven't really told her anything other than that she had collapsed, but I'm pretty sure she already knows she lost the baby."

"How can you know that?"

"She would have asked if her baby was OK. It's the first thing a woman does if she thinks that her unborn is in danger." The young doctor ran a hand through his hair and looked decidedly depressed. "Zoe didn't ask, which means she knows that there isn't any hope. That woman is as sharp as she is short on words."

"That she is, doc." Mal rubbed his eyes and tried to look less like he had spent hours in a hospital waiting room. Then he headed through the double doors and up the corridor to his second in command's room.

Her eyes locked on his as soon as he entered. He moved quickly to her side and took her hand. "How are you feeling, ài rén?" he asked.

"Not good," she whispered hoarsely. "Baby didn't make it. I could tell as soon as I saw Simon's face."

"I know." He was trying with little success not to show how saddened he was by that fact.

"Where's Wash?"

"Don't rightly know. He took off before we could even tell him you had collapsed. Kaylee knows where he was headed. She'll bring him back."

Zoe looked away from him, but not before he saw her trying to compose her expression. She was trying very hard not to give in to tears.

Mal dropped to his knees beside her bed and put his arms around her. Truth was that she was his best friend, that they rarely ever touched each other despite that, but there were times when you had to reach out to those you cared for, those you trusted, and this was one of them. She had to deal with what had happened.

He tightened his arms, hugging her to him. "Zoe, you will never know how sorry I am that this happened to you," he whispered. "But I am so grateful that I didn't lose you today – I almost did, you know."

Her own arms wrapped around him and she buried her face against his shoulder. After a minute of fighting she gave in to the tears.

"I wanted this child so badly," she sobbed. "But I went about it the wrong way. I should have waited for him to want the child too. Instead I stirred up some bad Karma, Mal. The child wasn't meant to live and maybe it might have if I had done things differently."

Mal pulled his head up and forced her to look at him. "Now don't you go talking about such things! This isn't anyone's fault; it's just the way life is sometimes. You gotta accept that and move on. I'm sure that husband of yours will feel the same about it when he learns what happened, and I doubt he'll give you such a hard time about it next time you're ready to bring up the idea of a child."

She composed herself, sniffing back unshed tears. "Wash is every bit as stubborn as you are, Mal," she whispered. "He won't back down on this. He won't even hear of us having a child unless..."

"Unless what?" Mal pressed her when she didn't continue.

"Unless I leave off being your second and settle down."

"Settle down?"

"You know: build a life with him somewhere that's safe to raise children."

Mal shook his head. "Damned man actually believes such a place exists in this time and space? Where the hell did you find him, in a time warp?"

"Didn't. You did."

He smiled. "I don't know how I'll ever make that up to you."

Zoe snorted. "No need. Think I'll keep him, if he'll let me." She looked around the room. "When will they let me out of here?"

"Simon says you can go in the morning, soon as they're certain you ain't gonna lose any more blood."

She nodded. "Mal?"

"Yeah?"

"Call Kaylee. Tell her to leave off trying to find him."

Both his eyebrows shot up. "Whatever are you thinking, gal?"

"I'm thinking that I want him to work through this, that I want him to come back cause he wants to, not cause he feels compelled to."

He stood up and gave her a stern look. "Man's got a right to know."

"He will, sir. Just not right away."

"Alright then." Mal patted her arm. "I'll be by in the morning to collect you. Inara will be wanting to stay with you tonight if you'll let her."

"She back already?" Zoe asked, surprised at the news.

Mal couldn't keep the sadistic smirk off his face. "Turns out that her latest client is the doctor who saved your life. Since he was on call, he had to run out on her, but not before she heard what was going on and figured out it was you from the description."

"That pleases you no end, doesn't it?" It was Zoe's turn to smirk.

Serenity's captain just smiled and turning, left the room.

* * *

Wash spent the better part of an hour wandering aimlessly through the side streets of the city. Fact of the matter was that he felt deeply conflicted over what to do next. On the one hand he welcomed the idea of finding something fun to do, as it would take his mind off some of his troubles. But on the other hand, he also feared being noticed by the authorities after the dÄ 


	5. Gravity Check

**Chapter 5: Gravity Check**

Mal managed to intercept Inara as she was leaving her shuttle. The companion's attire was decidedly toned down and was most likely her idea of casual. He couldn't help but snort. She still was dressed more luxuriously than most women dressed when attending a formal occasion.

Not for the first time he wondered at the psychological damage the guild had wrought on her during her training. Her morals were all upside down and backward and she couldn't kick back and just be herself no matter the occasion. She seemed not to be able to see anything from a viewpoint that didn't sync up with the guild's.

No doubt about it: the gal was seriously messed up.

Problem was that despite all that, he respected her. She was one sharp fortune cookie; even though they didn't see eye to eye about her so-called profession. And he hated her profession. Hated her practicing it...

And that made what he was about to do crazy as all get out...

"Inara," he greeted her. "Sorry to hear about your cancelled plans."

She snorted. "Yeah, I can see just how broken up you are."

"The good doctor unable to hold up his end of the agreement?" he smiled.

"It was a last minute change in the on-call schedule," she explained. "Not his fault, but by guild rules he still had to pay me."

"So then, there's no way he can meet you? You're free for the evening?"

"Apparently." Annoyed, she made to push her way past him on the stairs, but his hand shot out and gripped the railing, forming a barrier.

Mal put on his most charming smile and turned to face her. "Then would you do me the honor of keeping me company for an hour or so before you visit Zoe?"

Her mouth dropped open, but try as she might no words would form.

"Dinner," Mal explained. "I'm talking about taking you out to dinner somewhere nice. Think you can put up with me for a bit?"

With an effort she seemed to recover her poise. "What's the occasion?" she asked.

"No occasion other than that we find ourselves on a nice planet and you aren't off entertaining for a change. Thought we could relax over a good meal and chat."

She looked at him warily. "That's all? You won't start in about my profession again?"

"Promise."

"I don't know, Mal..." she sighed. "I really should drop in on Zoe and you're busy trying to figure out what's up with Wash..."

"Jayne and Kaylee are looking out for Wash and as for Zoe; I doubt she'll mind if you show up a little later on. Probably catching some sleep, anyway." His grin got larger. "Now then, how do you feel about Old World Italian food?"

Inara smiled and took his arm. "I would even put up with you for a meal like that," she laughed.

Mal puffed out his chest and led the way out. He felt elated to finally have gotten the companion to agree to spend some time with him. He had tried more than a few times to get her to see how he felt about her, but they always seemed to be dancing around the truth of it. Way he saw it, she found him a threat to her continued existence as a companion, and rightly so. What they had going was a stalemate. He wanted her but would only pursue her if he felt she would be willing to give up her profession to be his woman. She avoided him because she was not about to get into such a situation in which she had to make that decision.

Now maybe it could work out and maybe it couldn't. All he knew was that he couldn't just leave it be without giving it a try... and some personal time together was a step in the right direction.

Hell, he had the time to spare and tonight, so did she.

"Here's to an enjoyable meal and good company," he said, as they left Serenity.

* * *

Simon had only just begun to feel at home on Serenity. Part of that feeling was tied up in the fact that his status had been changed from paying fugitive passenger with a crazy sister to crewmember, as in ship's doctor... with a crazy sister. Still, times like this, when the rest of the crew were gone, the ship felt too large and empty. It felt more like a prison than a home.

So he busied himself in making a meal for himself and River. He wasn't the best cook on board, but he wasn't half-bad, either. After leaving Zoe in good hands at the hospital he had sought out a local market and purchased some much needed fresh vegetables, then splurged on some rice.

He was just finishing his sweet and pungent vegetable stir fly when River wandered in.

She looked over his shoulder, inhaled deeply and actually smiled. "Just like Mom made us," she said.

"Well, close enough anyway."

"Bends but won't break," she muttered.

He took the food off the stove and fixed her with a look. She had that dreamy, far away stare on her face, which meant that her consciousness, was wandering again. There was no denying that she knew things that most people couldn't know; that she could predict events before they happened.

And he had learned to trust her mutterings.

"What bends but won't break?" he asked, curious.

"Stronger than they think," she continued. "He just doesn't want to be that way. Hides it. Makes them think he's weak and strange..."

"Who, River? Are you talking about Wash?"

She smiled but didn't answer the question. Her eyes were focused once more. "Let's eat!" she said, grabbing plates and utensils for the two of them.

Simon sighed. He'd get no more out of her at the moment, but at least his sister was in one of her coherent states of mind.

* * *

"Still no sign of him, huh?"

Kaylee jumped and then clutched her chest. "Gorram it, Jayne! What you trying to do, scare me to death?"

The big man snorted with amusement. "No, but that will teach you to be on your guard, dong ma?"

She moved back into the stairwell she had been peeking out of and turned to face him. "How'd you climb those stairs so quiet like?"

"Trade secret," he replied. "So, still no sign of our mysterious pilot, eh?"

"Nope. He ain't come back yet."

"Well, how about we go grab a bite to eat and then come back? Ain't like it'll change anything."

Kaylee thought about it for a minute. Mal had gotten up with Jayne and ordered him to come over in case things went wrong. The big guy might come across as a bit slow, but when it came to fighting, he was smart as they came. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to sit and eat a spell..." she commented.

"Hell no! We'll eat in the bar downstairs. That way we can still keep an eye on who's comin' and goin'."

"You buying?"

That brought him up short. "Tell ya what – I'll flip you for the right to do that."

Kaylee smiled and dug out her favorite coin, one she had doctored so that it would nearly always land tails up. "You're on!" she said with a grin.

Feeling generous for once, Jayne flipped the coin and let her call it.

She called tails and as expected, easily won the toss. It brought a scowl to the big man's face, but only for a moment. The thought of good food quickly put him back in a good mood.

"Well, come on then!" he urged, as he turned back toward the stairwell.

Together they took the stairs, excited by the chance to eat some good, planet side food.

* * *

Wash entered his hotel through the adjourning bar and surreptitiously checked the hallway before moving quickly to the stairwell. He felt a strange pricking on the back of his neck as he passed the third floor landing and began to turn back towards the stairwell door when it was thrown open violently.

He jumped and tried to make a run back down the way he had come, but the two men who entered already had their guns drawn and pointed at him.

Wash put his hands up. "Hey," he said. "I'm just using the stairs!"

"That don't matter any when your name is Washburn," one of the men sneered. He holstered his weapon as his partner kept his gun centered on their captive.

Serenity's pilot felt himself spun around and frisked.

"He's clean," the thug commented.

The other man finally spoke up. "Lead the way up to the fifth floor," he commanded. "Keep your hands where I can see em. And if you even think about running or trying something, I will shoot you dead on the spot, dong ma? We'd be perfectly content to take the lesser payment being offered on your dead carcass."

"Um... I'm sure you'd still rather take the bigger payment option," Wash threw back over his shoulder.

Then he began to climb the stairs.

* * *

Zoe punched the video com and waited until Simon appeared on the screen.

"Well, hello," the doctor said, clearly surprised to see that it was her. "Is everything all right? You're not feeling worse, are you?"

"No doctor," she replied. "I'm just real sore right now. Other than that, I feel fine."

"Well, take it easy," Simon reminded her. "You've been through quite a bit and your body may still remind you of that by making you feel faint or exhausted. You could even pass out..."

"Doubt that," she answered. "Been through trauma before. Worse than this, even. I was back with Mal fighting the enemy the next day."

"Yeah. OK then, just don't forget to get that test I told you about before you check out tomorrow, all right?"

"What's it for again?"

"To check on your progress," Simon explained, although he wasn't being completely truthful. "It checks your hormone levels so we can be certain that there isn't any sort of imbalance after what you went through."

Zoe raised an eyebrow, a sure sign that she didn't entirely believe him. "Fine. Just tell me; has Mal returned from dinner yet?"

"No, no one aboard except myself, River and the shepherd."

"You heard back from Kaylee or Jayne yet?"

"No."

Zoe frowned. "Ok then. See you tomorrow, doc." Without further adieu she cut the transmission and then attempted to hail Jayne on his comlink. When that proved futile, she got out of bed and began dressing. Before donning her pants, she bound up her abdomen to provide more support to the area that the surgeon had opened earlier that day.

A wave of dizziness hit her and she took several deep, measured breaths until it passed. A check in the mirror showed that she was a bit on the pale side, but otherwise presentable.

The RN on duty at the main desk was startled to see her. "What are you..." she began.

Zoe interrupted her. "I'm checking myself out. Spare yourself the speeches. Give me the gorram papers to sign and go fetch my gun."

One look at her face and the nurse quickly began to get everything necessary for her discharge in order.

Zoe bit her lip impatiently. She knew something had gone wrong at Wash's hotel, which meant that her husband was in some serious danger, not to mention Kaylee and Jayne. Good thing she had managed to get Kaylee to give her the hotel name earlier on. Wasn't anything short of death going to keep her from tracking them down and doing what she could.

* * *

Wash watched his captors move around the room and waited for a chance to begin freeing himself.

After marching him up to the fifth floor, the two men had pushed him into the hotel room located directly below his won room. He had quickly been gagged, had his hands bound behind his back and in addition tied to the chair he was seated in.

One of the men took a vid scan of his face and forwarded it, to the military, no doubt. He knew he didn't have much time in which to get away before it would be all but impossible.

Finally the opportunity presented itself. Thug number one paid a call to the toilet and fortuitously, thug two was seated at a desk, partially turned away from him.

Wash managed to strain against his bonds enough to start picking at the seam inside the waist of his pants. He felt sweat begin to bead on his face under the effort working at the thread with his thumb and forefinger. His pulling against his bonds had tightened the rope around his wrists and he was in danger of losing all feeling in the very fingers that he most needed.

Finally the thread came loose and he was able to slide his thumb into the thumb knife he had hidden there. The knife had a thin strap that fit around his thumb and supported a small, hooked blade no longer than his actual thumbnail.

He began to quickly saw through the rope that bound him.

* * *

Kaylee sat in the chair where she had been placed after her hands were bound and tried not to look as terrified as she felt.

She and Jayne had been nabbed as soon as they passed the third floor stairwell landing. Jayne had managed to knock one man senseless, but had in turn taken a rifle butt in the head. He had been unconscious the better part of thirty minutes and Kaylee knew he would be hopping mad when he woke to find himself hog-tied on the floor.

They were both in Wash's room. Their three captors milled about the room, talking to each other in low voices so that she couldn't make out what they were saying.

Finally one man went back outside and she was able to make out that he was to guard the stairwell. The man Jayne had knocked out was pacing the room and angrily nursing his black and blue jaw. He had spat out several teeth since regaining sense and now viciously kicked the bound and unconscious cause of his pain.

"You son of a bitch bastard!" he yelled, landing several more kicks. "My gal is gonna kill me when she sees what you done to my looks!"

"Aw shutup, Paulie," the other thug commanded. "Why don't you go down to the bar and get yourself a bag of ice for that face of yours? At least then I don't have to listen to you yowling."

The thug named Paulie spat on Jayne and left the room, apparently taking the other man's advice to heart.

Just then Jayne groaned, stirred, groaned again and then lifted his head to look around.

Kaylee watched as realization of their predicament dawned on the big man.

* * *

It took Wash the better part of ten minutes to fish out his thumb knife and then cut his way through enough of his bindings to get his hands free. He might have been able to do it faster, but he just hadn't wanted to take the chance that the thug at the desk would hear him.

While he had worked at the rope, there had been a commotion from the room upstairs: his room. There had been a loud thump, pacing and finally some loudmouth yelling about his face. Obviously something was also going on up there and although he had little idea what it might be, it was most assuredly tied to his predicament.

Noting that the man at the desk was still unaware that he was free, Wash carefully transferred his thumb knife to his forefinger and listened for the man who had gone to the head. No sounds. No toilet flushing... The man had, fortunately for him, parked it.

Again he turned his attention to the man at the desk. There was a mirror on the wall in front of the man, but so long as Wash approached from a diagonal, directly behind the turned away man, he had a good chance.

He rose from his chair, dropped the ropes and in four quick steps had his knife against the seated thug's throat.

"Don't even think of moving," he whispered in the man's ear. "Or I'll slit you from ear to ear." To drive home his point, he allowed the blade to nick the man, whose eyes, reflected in the mirror, were filled with terror.

Reaching down, he took the man's gun and without a moment's hesitation, brained him with it.

Wash put away his thumb knife and carefully arranged the unconscious thug at the desk with his head on his crossed arms. When the other guy emerged from the toilet, he would think his friend had gotten lazy and decided to take a nap.

Then he moved to the other side of the bathroom door and waited.

It took another five minutes, but the other thug finally flushed and emerged from the small room, wafting out a horrendous stench as he did so.

He froze when he saw his buddy sleeping at the desk and that was all the distraction Wash needed. A kick to the back of the man's calf dropped him to his knees. In a second he had the man in a Japanese death-lock: a rear choke which cut off the main carotid arteries on one side of the neck. The lock resulted in unconsciousness within seconds or death if held longer.

Wash released the man once he passed out and quickly went about tying him up with the very rope he had himself been tied with.

Then he headed out the door and toward the stairwell. He was about to find out what was going on in his room.

* * *

"Mal!"

Malcolm Reynolds wiped his mouth with his napkin and answered his comlink. "Yes, doctor?"

"I think you ought to know that the hospital just called me. Zoe checked herself out and she certainly hasn't shown up here."

"Thank-you, Simon." Mal closed the transmission and flagged down their waiter. As the man left to get the bill, he tried to raise both Kaylee, then Jayne, with no success.

"My God," Inara breathed. "Something must have happened at the hotel."

"That would be my guess." Mal took the check from the waiter, looked it over and handed him cash. "Keep the change," he said, already heading for the door.

Inara was hard pressed to keep up with him as he hit the street and made for the port authority and the landing pad which held Serenity. "Mal!" she called from her position two steps behind him.

He slowed and allowed her to catch up.

"Shouldn't you head off to see if you can help them?" she asked.

"Nope. Zoe'd be already seeing to that," he answered. "With Wash, Zoe and Kaylee all off ship, I'm the only one left who can get her fired up and ready to go. I'd best be seeing to that cause I'm thinking we'll be making a fast getaway. If'n Zoe needs help, she'll call for it."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah. You can thank me for the wonderful dinner, conversation and dessert for starters," he smirked, pleased at himself. He risked a glance at her face and saw that she wasn't more than slightly annoyed with him. "Well? I'm waiting," he prompted.

"Maybe I prefer to wait and thank you in a manner that's a bit more... intimate," she purred.

He slowed almost to a stop, so shocked was he.

Inara smirked over her shoulder at him as she boarded Serenity first.

"Damn that woman," Mal murmured before remembering the situation at hand and moving in the direction of the bridge. He wanted to be ready when Zoe called.

* * *

Wash paused at the stairwell door and decided instead to walk up the corridor past the elevator, hang a right and take the stairs in further down that wing.

Exiting on the sixth floor, he backtracked in the direction of the elevator and the intersection his room lay near. He stopped with his back pressed against the wall with the other wing on his left. The stairwell was around the corner and on the right. From his position it was just visible.

Fishing around in his pocket, he produced a coin and flipped it so that it hopped off the carpet and struck the bottom of the stairwell door with a slight 'clunk'.

As expected, another thug made his appearance, pushing open the door and peering through the opening. The man was carrying a rifle, of all things. Not exactly low profile in a public hotel. Chances were that the government had bought out all the other rooms on the floor...had everyone else moved. Good thing he hadn't taken the elevator. It was probably bugged with vid.

Wash moved forward and delivered a tremendous punch to the thug's right kidney. In that instant the man's right hand reflexively dropped from the rifle. He grabbed the man's right wrist and spun the man ninety degrees so that he was nearly facing towards him while pulling the arm straight up behind the man. A swift kick to the gut and an upward yank on the arm drove the thug straight down into the carpet. He held him pinned to the floor by driving straight down on the arm, pressing the man's right shoulder into the carpet.

A kick to the head ended the fight. Wash tossed the rifle into the stairwell and picked the unconscious man up...

* * *

Kaylee cringed as their captor kicked Jayne again. He had been trying his bonds and none too subtly. Not that it would be possible for him to do so in any manner that wouldn't be obvious to their host.

"Don't let me catch you trying that again," the man warned. "Cause next time I'll break one of your arms and time after that it'll be a leg. Understand?"

Jayne nodded, but Kaylee could see he was as angry as she had ever seen him. The veins were standing up in his face and neck and his brows were all drawn down and mean. She hoped he'd get the chance to pay the man back. She wanted to be there when he did.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

The thug looked through the peephole and threw the door open. "Damn it, Stan..." he started to complain.

Before the man had finished talking, Kaylee noticed that the other thug was out cold and being held up by someone else.

Their host noticed at the same time, but it was seconds too late. As he started to draw his gun, the unconscious man was tossed at him.

Kaylee's eyes widened as she recognized Wash, but that was nothing compared to their expression when he swung a gun up and shot their captor dead on the spot.

Not certain that she wasn't hallucinating, she looked over at Jayne, whose own eyes were bugging out.

Nope, not hallucinating, she thought.

Wash stepped over Jayne and pulled off her gag.

"Wash!" she gasped. "Wode tìan ! How did you..." Then she froze. Another thug, the one with the damaged jaw, appeared in the doorway. "Watch out!" she yelled.

Too late.

The man in the doorway dropped his bag of ice and pulled out his gun.

There was a loud report and red blossomed from the man's head as he fell over, dead.

Kaylee and Jayne tensed as they waited for whatever was out there to show itself.

Wash leveled his gun up and moved towards the doorway. He immediately dropped his arm as Zoe stepped into sight.

She was carrying the rifle she had used on the thug. "Look what someone left in the stairwell," she commented. "Amazing what some people will throw away." Moving past her husband, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Hi honey," she said, then went to untying Jayne.

Wash looked thoroughly confused, shook his head and then moved to untie Kaylee.

"Zoe!" Jayne shouted as soon as his gag was off. "You should have seen him! He fooled the idiot with some dead guy and then shot him like it was nothing!"

"It's true, "Kaylee added. "He was amazing!"

Zoe's face hardened as she looked over her shoulder towards Wash. "Don't surprise me that much given all that I've learned today about the man I married." She gasped as she finished releasing Jayne and straightened up.

"Oh Zoe!" Kaylee gasped. "You ain't even supposed to be out oft the hospital! You better sit down!"

"Hospital?" Wash, who had been watching his wife the entire time he fumbled with Kaylee's bonds, looked deeply concerned.

Zoe cut him off before he could start asking questions. "I'm fine. It can wait until we get the hell out of here, don't you think?"

With that she led the way out with Kaylee and Jayne right behind her.

"But Lambie-toes!" Wash called after her. "Won't you help me pack? I need to gather my things."

When there was no reply, he began throwing his things in his bag and sped off after them with it half-open and clothes hanging out all over.

To be continued...


	6. Family

**Chapter 6: Family **

Zoe waited in the stairwell for her husband. She had sent Jayne on ahead to guard the bottom entrance, while Kaylee remained with her. Her belly was hurting something fierce, but that was nothing compared to the pounding in her head.

Her concept of who her husband was just wasn't fitting with what she had seen here today. Oh she knew that there was a lot more to him than met the eye. She had always figured that. He had proven her suspicions about his bravery and willingness to fight if it could not be avoided to be true the time they had rescued Mal from Niska.

And she had already heard Mal read the public record, the obituary, he had dug up. Still, it was so much more information about her husband, about abilities and facets of him that he had kept carefully hidden, that it had seemed all but impossible to take it all in. That was until just now, when she had direct evidence that it was not only possible, but true.

Just then the man in question made an appearance, gun drawn, carefully checking the stairwell before entering. When he saw her and Kaylee, he stepped in and then transferred his bag to the hand holding the gun. He had the weapon cleverly hidden by some clothing that hung out the top of the bag, but fact was that the gun was still firmly in his grasp. All he would have to do was drop the bag and he'd be ready to fire.

Again, not like the man she thought she knew. Still, that might be a good thing given their situation. Zoe turned and led the way down the stairs, but was brought up short by Wash's hand on her arm as she turned the corner leading to the fifth floor landing.

"There's something I need to check on before we leave," he said.

"And what might that be? We don't have time to take in the sights, husband," she threw back.

"Don't I know it!" he answered, talking quickly. "Alliance military are already on their way. But I was taken captive in the room below my own and I want to grab their papers before we go. Need to know whatever I can."

Zoe nodded. "I'll do it. You and Kaylee go on down the stairs towards the lobby. Jayne's waiting there for us. I'll be along directly."

Reaching out, Wash took hold of her shirt and pulled her towards him. She reflexively began to raise the rifle butt and he froze. There was a look of both shock and sadness on his face as he slowly, carefully leaned in and kissed her.

"I'm still the same man," he whispered before straightening up and handing her the keycard for the room.

"Maybe so," she whispered back. "But that doesn't change the fact that I've never seen you before." Maybe they weren't the right words, the best words, to have used, but they were honest. It still hurt to see how they seemed to wound her husband.

"Zoe..." he began, but she turned and left the stairwell before things could get more complicated. She had something to get done. No use in squandering more time.

There would hopefully be time for talk later.

* * *

"Where's Zoe?" Jayne asked suspiciously when Wash and Kaylee reached him.

"She went to gather some information. Some other men took Wash hostage downstairs and he had to take them out," Kaylee answered when it appeared that the pilot himself was in no mood for talking.

Jayne snorted. "Well ain't you a regular killing machine," he commented. He ignored the pained expression his words brought to his crewmate's face. "Sure hope Zoe hurries, though... We gotta be leaving before things really get tough."

"She shouldn't be long," Wash answered.

Jayne crooked a finger at him. "Hey, come here a second."

Wash gave him a suspicious look, but moved to stand next to him, whereupon the big man handed him his rifle.

"Hold that a sec, willya?" He then removed his floppy-eared hat and pushed it down over the pilot's head. "There. That'll at least cover all that light hair of yours. Make it a bit easier to blend in on the street."

Jayne had a hard time hiding his amusement at the appalled look on Wash's face. Damn, but good old, gut-wrenching situations like this really put him in a good mood. The only thing that would have made it a better evening was if he had had the chance to finish bashing in toothless' face upstairs.

Darn that Zoe. She always took out the ones he had his sights on!

* * *

Zoe entered the fifth floor room and paused only long enough to scan the interior and ascertain that there was no immediate danger to herself. Then she crossed over to the man who lay hog-tied on the floor. He had begun to groan and come around.

Without the slightest qualm, she kicked him in the head, knocking him out again.

Then she crossed to the man at the desk.

He was dead. Near as she could tell, from a blow to the base of the skull.

Goosebumps rose on her flesh at the same time as a thrill ran through her. How could one person feel such a rush of amazement, elation and profound sadness at the same time?

She again was forced to realize that her husband was nowhere near being the coward some like Jayne, and perhaps Mal, had thought him to be. True that she herself had never thought of him in that way, but to be faced with proof that he was capable of this?

"Snap out of it!" she chastised herself, then turned and surveyed the papers on the desk.

She gathered them up, along with a few which had been generated by the vid com system, folded them and tucked them into her leather vest.

Time to call Mal and then get back to the ship.

* * *

They took a detour through the bar, Jayne hiding the rifle under his large overcoat, Wash hiding his hair under Jayne's ridiculous looking hat.

Kaylee was well aware that she looked like an Earth-that-was deer caught in the headlights.

Only Zoe looked calm, unruffled and like an average person on the street. She led the way, followed by Jayne, then Kaylee, with Wash bringing up the rear.

It was a definite elevation of his status and Kaylee wondered if he had noted it. The point and the rear were areas where the better fighters were always placed. Always before, Wash had been in the middle with her. Then again, maybe Zoe did it this way to help Jayne in hiding his larger weapon.

They pushed their way through the crowded establishment and at one point stopped at the bar itself as they saw six Alliance military suddenly pass by the street entrance. The soldiers had to be on their way into the hotel.

"Jayne," Zoe motioned him closer to her. "They're going to send someone in here soon as they realize it opens up on the hotel lobby."

"Yeah, I was just figuring that. Question is, how many more troops are on the way?"

Zoe nodded. "Kaylee, need you to peek outside," she whispered.

With a gulp, she put on her best innocent look and walked calmly to the door. She looked left and right and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. With a deep breath, she pushed open the door and crossed the street. Standing on the far curb, she knew her crewmates could see her clearly as she scanned the street.

At first everything seemed OK. Then she noticed them: three men, plain clothes, but military nonetheless. She could tell by the way they were groomed, how they stood in the alleyway entrance and how one of them kept turning away to talk on a com. No doubt that they were stationed there to intercept anyone sneaking away from the hotel.

She shook her head side to side when she knew the enemy wasn't watching her, then dropped her hand and held three fingers out to signal the number of men to Zoe. Lastly she looked pointedly in the direction of the ambush.

Zoe nodded that she understood, then signaled her to start walking down the street past the area by moving two of her fingers in a walking motion.

Kaylee gulped and nodded. Whatever was going to happen, was going to happen real soon. She wasn't certain what else she should be doing, but she had an idea that getting past the men and then distracting them was the most likely plan.

She walked slowly until she had just passed the men, then started crossing towards their side of the street. Zoe and the others had emerged from the bar and were slowly moving towards the alley. Just as they got to within range of their would-be ambushers, Kaylee screamed and fell down.

The men instantly turned all their attention to her. One even began to draw his weapon. That's when her crewmates sprang into action.

Zoe let fly with a kick to the closest man's jaw, then followed up with two punches as he started to collapse.

The man behind him started to bring his gun to bear when Wash blocked his arm hard enough to knock the gun away, landed a punch to his throat and then somehow locked up his arm and pulled the man over backward. The guy's head connected soundly with the road, ending the fight.

At the same time that Wash was dispatching his foe, Jayne stepped up and clocked the remaining man with the rifle.

It was all over in seconds and with very little nose to draw attention to them.

Zoe motioned them to follow her and took off down the alleyway. She apparently knew a less conspicuous way back to Serenity.

"Good job, Kaylee," she called back over her shoulder.

"Th-th-thanks," she stuttered, unable to suppress the adrenaline surge that the terrifying incident had generated.

"Yeah. Nice scream," Jayne laughed.

Before she could show her annoyance by mentioning an embarrassing moment or two from the large man's past, Wash interrupted.

"I don't know, Jayne," he deadpanned. "I think I could have screamed louder."

Jayne snorted. "I know you could. We've all had occasion to hear you."

Despite herself, Kaylee was amused. The butterflies in her stomach began to settle, either from the men's exchange or from the run. Either way she felt well enough to crack, "Yeah, but what about pitch, Jayne? My scream was higher pitched than any of Wash's, right?"

The tall man looked skeptical.

"Don't know, Kaylee," Zoe joined in. "Wash has come pretty close a time or two..."

"Thanks, wife," the pilot responded with a smile.

By then they were all too winded to keep up the conversation, so they just saved their breath and ran harder.

When they turned another corner Serenity was in sight. And a sight for sore eyes she was.

"Home sweet home!" Wash gasped as they headed up the landing ramp.

* * *

Captain Malcolm Reynolds had Serenity warmed up and ready to go.

Ever since Zoe had informed him that they were on their way back, he had stayed on the bridge, tensely watching through the main viewports for any sign of his missing crew.

He was so intent on watching for them that he failed to notice that River and Shepherd Book had joined him, until River spoke.

"Kaylee fooled them," she suddenly said, causing Mal to start and turn towards her.

He noted Book standing by the entranceway, then spoke. "Are they on their way, River?" he asked. "Are they all right?"

She giggled. "Right as rain... ahead of the game..." Then she wandered back out.

He exchanged another look with the Shepherd.

"Yeah, I know," Book commented. "She knows things."

"Damn straight she does, preacher," Mal answered. "And so do you. Would you mind taking the helm for a few minutes while I go on down to the cargo bay?"

"Certainly not, but why do you need to go down there?"

"I plan on lending a hand should the Alliance put two and two together and try to cut them off from the ship."

"Dandy," Book smiled. "But you might want to consider sending me down there instead. I have something I've been working on for just such an occasion..."

"And you call yourself a man of God?" Mal smirked. "Yeah, all right. Show us what you've got."

"Anything to keep the final death toll to a minimum," Book admonished as he turned and left the bridge.

* * *

Zoe was more than a little surprised when no ambush was sprung on them as they approached their boat. Still she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth – she kept running and encouraged the others to do the same right up until they could get aboard.

The bay doors and ramp opened as they neared and she was surprised to see Shepherd Book was the one greeting them. He stood at the ramp controls with some sort of four-wheeled contraption next to him.

No matter, she didn't have time for questions right now.

As Kaylee and Wash entered the cargo bay, Book immediately closed the doors and ramp.

"We're all aboard, Captain," Zoe informed Mal via com.

"Get Wash up here and let's get outta here before they start carrying out searches," came the reply.

"Yes sir." She cut the com and turned to survey the rest of her crewmates.

They were all taking long, deep breaths, trying to calm their breathing. Kaylee was bend forward at the waist, gasping. Wash was walking in small circles, clutching at his side, obviously experiencing a stitch from all the running. Jayne looked fine, just breathed a bit faster and deeper than usual. He headed for the Shepherd first.

"Hey preacher," he greeted. "What you got there?"

Book produced a remote. "It's sort of a remote controlled bomb," he answered proudly.

Jayne was joined by Kaylee as he peered at the thing more closely. "No kidding? You built that?" he asked.

"What can I say? I had plenty of time and thought it might come in handy one day."

"Good job," Kaylee praised him. "Definitely has plenty of 'blast power'. Hope you disarm it when you store it away."

"I will indeed. Why don't you give me a hand with it?"

As the three of them disarmed and stored the weapon, Zoe approached Wash. "Mal wants to get out of here pronto," she urged.

"Don't have to ask me twice," he replied, finally taking his hand away from his side. "First things first, though..."

He surprised her then by pulling her to him and kissing her passionately. Not that she minded, but her husband, although demonstrative in front of the others, usually didn't get quite this brazen.

She all but melted as he kissed her, his hands kneading her posterior. They were both breathless again by the time he came up for air.

Kaylee's, "Whoa!" and Jayne's enthusiastic, "Hot damn!" brought them both back to the here and now.

With a huge grin, Wash slapped her on the rear and started up the stairs towards the bridge.

"Glad to see that you two have made up," Book commented.

That's when she became aware that they were all gawking at her. As much as she might have otherwise chitchatted with them, she was the first mate on Serenity and she knew that had to always be driven home when she was interacting with more than one of them at a time.

So all she said was, "Working on it. We're about to take off, people. Time to see to your duties. Shepherd, you certain that thing of yours isn't going to accidentally blow us out of the sky?"

Kaylee and Jayne took off while Book answered her. "It's perfectly safe now."

With a nod she headed up the stairs to the bridge. Her abdomen was one huge hurt right then, but she still had things to see to before she could rest.

* * *

Mal had to admit that it felt good to see Wash on the bridge again. True that the man had only been away a day, but having wondered if they would ever get him back... well, it just made you appreciate a person more when they did return.

"Bout damn time," he commented, as the man took the pilot's chair.

"Yeah, I missed you, too, honey," Wash cracked back, a smile on his face.

"Well, if you really mean that, then you'll prove it by avoiding any and all Alliance who might be in the area."

The pilot's eyebrow shot up. "Can't have you thinking I'm insincere, so you better hang on to something..."

There was a thrum of power through the ship's infrastructure as Wash rev'd the engines and shot them straight up off the launch pad.

Mal's stomach felt like it had been left behind, and that was OK by him. There really was both exhilaration and intense satisfaction in having a fine pilot coax Serenity to her limits. Nothing made him prouder to see just what his boat could do. And that both Serenity and her crew had developed a reputation, a growing one at that, was at least in great part due to the paces her pilot put her through.

The following few hours were the kind of thrill ride he had come to enjoy. Wash deftly eluded arriving Alliance cruisers and out maneuvered stationed patrol ships, managing to embarrass each engaged pilot in turn.

In the end it was just them and the open expanse of space, though. There just had never been much of a doubt. It was time to bring up a thorny subject.

Mal sat forward in his chair. "You know that I mean to have the full accounting of the facts leading up to you becoming a pilot for hire."

Wash nervously swallowed but then met his eyes, "I do sir."

The captain leaned back in his seat and gave his pilot a measuring look. "I know you have other important personal things to get straight first. How about if you, me and Zoe get together tomorrow morning so you can fill us in on who you really are?"

"Well, how about we do it over breakfast and include the entire crew?"

"You being sarcastic?" Mal asked him, uncertain of what he was thinking.

"No. Just feel that I'd rather tell it one time and have it finally out in the open." Wash sighed, "I think that I owe them that much. They deserve to know who it is they're trusting their lives to. Besides: we're pretty much the closest thing to family that any of us is likely to have."

Mal nodded. If there was another thing he liked about Wash, it was his honesty. He was about to get up, clap Wash on the back and leave him in peace when it occurred to him that his pilot still had things to straighten out with Zoe.

"Would you like permission to track down the first officer?" he asked with a smirk. "Go on. I'll watch the bridge."

Wash needed no further permission. With a grin he bounded out of his seat and took off.

Mal settled into the pilot's chair and sighed. Tomorrow was certain to be a taxing day for all of them.

* * *

He went in search of Zoe as soon as he was able to finish his navigation calculations and programming. After searching all over Serenity, he finally risked entering the bunk they had once shared and found her crouched on the floor near the washing station.

All tentativeness forgotten, he moved quickly to help her up, his heart pounding. There was plenty of evidence that she had been quite ill just before he showed up.

"Zoe? Honey? What's wrong?" he asked, as he managed to guide her over to and seat her on the edge of their bed.

She let herself fall back on the bed and took several deep breaths... She was very pale and obviously still fighting to keep the retching at bay. Perspiration beaded her brow.

Without thinking about it, he wiped it away with his sleeve. "I'll go get Simon," he began.

She grabbed his sleeve, stopping him from leaving. "No. I'm all right," she insisted.

"You most definitely are not!" he argued. "Is this part of why you were in the hospital earlier?" When she didn't answer he insisted, "Tell me what's wrong!"

Zoe watched his face silently for a while, then put a hand up to cup his cheek. "I really do love you. Do you know that?" she asked.

He covered her hand with his own and rubbed his cheek against it. "Now you're really worrying me..." he quipped.

"No, Wash... or Hoban, whichever your name is..."

"It's Wash now," he insisted.

"I've always known there was so much more to you," she whispered. "I was just waiting for you to stop hiding it." Their eyes locked. "Despite what you might have thought, I've always respected you. I've always respected your insistence on not fighting or killing if you could help it. I respect that even more now that I see that you can easily do such things if you need to. It takes a very strong man to just refuse like you do..."

He looked both touched and pained. "Zoe..."

"No matter what your story is, I still love you. I think I always will," she insisted.

Wash lay down beside her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He loved to smell her hair and plant small kisses on her neck while curled beside her like this. This time, he simply held her, content for a time, to simply be with her again. Long minutes passed before he broke the silence. "You're good," he finally chuckled. "Found a way to make me forget what I was thinking earlier." He propped himself up on an elbow. "Why were you in the hospital, Lambie-toes?"

She started pulling at her vest. "Help me get undressed."

He started to reach for her shirt buttons as a rush of excitement electrified him, then froze.

"Wait a minute... that's an unfair way to make me forget the question again!" he complained.

"No trick, honey. Help me and all will be revealed."

Needing no further encouragement in stripping his wife, Wash helped her with her shirt and pants, but frowned as he realized she had a pressure bandage on her abdomen.

Zoe struggled to a sitting position and began to gingerly remove the wrap, which in turn revealed a large gauze pad taped to her lower right side. She lay back down and carefully peeled it off, grimacing as the tape pulled her sore flesh.

Wash found himself staring at a three-inch incision. "My God!" he exclaimed. "What? How did this happen?"

His wife removed her remaining clothes and carefully scooted up in the bed, pulling the blankets over herself. She patted the bed next to her. "Get your clothes off and come on up here," she urged.

Again he looked at her as though she was trying to distract him from learning the full story, but complied. Who was he, after all, to resist a beautiful woman, who happened to be his wife, when she asked him to climb into a bed naked with her?

As soon as he pulled the covers over himself, she tried to curl up next to him but gasped and went rigid.

"I'm OK," she volunteered before he could ask. "Can't lie on my side right now is all." Instead, she placed her head on his shoulder and held her belly with both hands, slowly rubbing it.

"You lost the baby, didn't you?" he suddenly found himself asking. His wife was usually pretty straightforward with him. Her inability to explain her condition without continually procrastinating... Well, all the puzzle pieces had suddenly just fit together.

Tears began to track down the sides of her face. "Yes."

He listened in a kind of deep shock as she recounted what had happened to her: how she had asked Mal to keep him from leaving and then the next thing she remembered was awaking in the hospital. As she explained everything to him a very deep anger at himself began to build.

"I should have been there," he cried. "I shouldn't have made such a big deal of it... I should have told you why I didn't want a child... explained myself instead of just refusing"

She shushed him and pulled him to her for a kiss. "We were both wrong and perhaps that is why this happened. We just weren't ready for a child. It wouldn't have been a good situation for the baby..."

"No. No Zoe! You can't think that," he protested. "Many times this happens during a pregnancy. It wasn't because of anything either of us did or thought. It just wasn't meant to be this time." He kissed her then. "But, you were right: if we don't have a child now, then when will be the right time? We can try again when you're healed up. That is... if you still want to?"

"What do you want, husband?"

"I just let my fears overcome all reason," he admitted. "But I want a child with you and there's no sense in putting it off."

"It's all water under the bridge now," she sighed. "I still have one functioning side. Perhaps next year or the year after we'll try again."

Wash leaned over her and began nibbling her neck, below her ear. "Or maybe we could try sooner..." he suggested.

She smacked him, but not all that hard. "I'm still healing here!"

"Ok." He raised his head long enough to raise an eyebrow. "So then we'll just practice..." He returned to nibbling.

Zoe put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I missed you so much..."

He returned the embrace. "Not nearly as much as I missed you."

They fell asleep embracing each other, neither willing to let go for even an instant.

* * *

Mal was still on the bridge when Inara found him. He appeared to be deep in thought and she could easily guess what it was about.

"Wash and Zoe making up?" she asked.

Startled, he swung his chair around to face her. "Inara. What brings you up here?"

"You didn't answer my question," she prodded.

"Oh, I suppose that they are. I hope they work it out," he admitted.

"If he leaves, she will, too," she stated.

He looked annoyed. "You know, no one on this boat seems to give me enough credit. And it ain't like I haven't earned it," he groused. "Course I know she'd most likely go with him if'n it came to it. Only way she'd stay would be if he did something really unforgivable, which is the only reason that I would have for putting him off Serenity anyway. So, as you see, if I'm going to lose my pilot because of a decision I make, then I will most likely keep my second in command."

"I remember when you couldn't wait to find a reason to get rid of him."

"Yeah, but as you'll recall, that was only after he began to woo Zoe. Before that I was the one arguing all the reasons why he was the perfect pilot for us."

"So, up until a few days ago, you felt strongly about keeping him?" she pressed.

"Course! Fortunately, although he and Zoe have their ups and downs, usually things are kept private and away from the crew. For the most part, they don't cause trouble. That is the only problem I had with them becoming a couple: that it could complicate things for everyone. They've proved that in their case that ain't gonna happen." He frowned at her. "Look, I got a lot on my mind right now, I don't need you riling me just for the sake of it."

She shrugged. "Just trying to see where you stood where they were concerned. I really came up here to thank you for dinner."

Mal actually seemed at a loss for words. "Really?"

She nodded. "You were right. We don't get much of a chance to actually talk to each other. Both the dinner and the company were excellent."

A rare smile lit his face. "Well hopefully we'll get another chance sometime soon."

She sighed. "Perhaps, but in the meantime you might want to just take the time to talk with me now and then. And when the time comes, don't be afraid to ask me."

"Ask you what?" he looked puzzled and alarmed.

"Ask me what the Guild rules for dating are," she said, bluntly. Then she laid a hand on his shoulder briefly before turning to leave. "And Mal?"

"Yeah?" He still looked alarmed.

"Don't wait too long to ask." With that she turned and headed back to her shuttle for the night.

**To be concluded next chapter**


End file.
